Dear entire Male Modeling Industry, we have a message for you and it reads as such: your Reign of Boredom is waning, and your essence of exclusivity will one day be but a distant memory. All peaceful slumbers must come to their rude awakening, and this, you silly silly industry, is that rude awakening. So tighten your grip, cuz we’re comin’ for that crown.
With what Army? Funny you should ask. Without further ado, allow us to present egalitarianism at its finest, elected by you, enabled by us, the often imitated, never duplicated: AMERICA’S NEXT TOP CHUBBIES’ MODELS:
While we have your attention, a riotous standing ovation goes out to all participants in this year’s contest. Entrants, voters, press outlets who helped spread the revolution and most importantly to the Nation of Chubsters that is ultimately the reason why we do what we do.
Now let’s go git’er done.